grunge09
2008-02-24 04:50:18 UTC
1. Wraith and a human are in a bar. Human is half loaded, going on about
how his wife sucked the very life right out of him. Wraith says
either:
A. Funny you look fine to me, but I can take care of that for you right
now. Or...
B. Really Sounds like a female after my own heart.
2. Wraith is on "Who wants to be a Millionaire", He gets up past 25k and
Merideth gives him a new lifeline, wraith says to Merideth funny I was
thinking of having you Meridith as a lifeline. Or "using your lifeline if
I feel the need".
3. Wraith gets a private lap dance at a strip club. Wraith comes out with
a smile on his face. Bouncer asks how was she? Wraith replies "better
than she looked." or "tasted like chicken."
4. Wraith and an Asguard are sitting on a park bench. Wraith says to
Asguard "I'd suck the life out of you, but it looks like someone beat be
to it."
5. Wraith and a Ga'ould are sitting at a table. Wraith says "Do you have
any jaffa you can spare? I can suck the lifeforce out of them bit by bit,
their symbiote can regenerate and I can suck on them some more." the
Ga'ould replies "No I need my Jaffa to feed my ego, not be fed upon by you."
6. How many wraith does it take to attack the Asguard? We do not know
the wraith would be too busy arguing amongst themselves, for bragging
rights, to actually attack them.
7. Why did the wraith feed upon the little people? They were just
snacks.
8. Wraith staggers into a bar. The bartender says it looks like you have
had your limit I can not serve you. The wraith replies "I have only fed
on one drunk tonight."
9. Wraith gets to Hell and the devil tells him he has a unique personal
hell in store for the wraith. Wraith says funny I was thinking of taking
over down here" and proceeds to feed on the devil.
10. Wraith is one of 2 contestants on the dating game. He gets asked by
the girl "what can you do for me? Wraith replies "I can be like your ex
boyfriend and suck the life right out of you." To a wraith that would be
funny.
11. Wraith gets stopped on the corner in the middle of feeding by the
police. Cop asks "What are you doing?" Wraith replies "I thought this
was Luke Skywalker and was feeding on the force."
12. Wraith Hive Ship gets stopped by the BORG. BORG goes on their
standard rant "Surrender your vessel, Resistance is futile, you will be
assimilated." The wraith reply "funny we were gonna says much of the same
thing except for the assimilation part, we would just feed on you to shut
you the hell up."
13. Wraith feeds on a lawyer, and suddenly falls to the ground in agony.
Lawyer says "Wow the Hoffan Drug worked, and I hope you live long enough
for me to sue you."
14. Wraith drop in at an all you can eat buffet that is very busy. The
wraith feed on several people, then use the dart to take a big doggie bag
(of people) for later.
15. Wraith are put in charge of the Max security prisons. Occupancy drops
BUT not as you might expect. The humans in there value their own lives and
get time off early for good behavior to get away from the wraith.
16. 2 wraith queens find Dr McKay and capture him on an offworld mission.
One queen says to the other "heads you get to feed on him, tails we use
him to get everyone on Atlantis and then Earth." The other queen says
hurry up and flip for it before McKay's incessant ranting/whining drives
both of us crazy."
17. Wraith meets a politician. Wraith says we are a lot alike, we lie,
cheat, manipulate others, feed off others suffering. Were you a wraith
in a previous life?
18. Wraith has just fed on a chinese family on Earth, and feels odd, He
suddenly has the feels hungry again like 20 minutes later.
19. Wraith orders a pizza and asks for for delivery. Pizza shop calls
wraith 45 minutes later looking for his driver. Wraith replies "Funny he
never showed up with a Pizza, can you send another driver out and is the
pizza free this time?"
20. Wraith is in with a shrink. Shrink is doing his thing. Shrink ask
the wraith what does he do with his life?" Wraith shows him by
feeding on shrink until brink of death and then gives him back his life
the way it was. Shrink says "wow that felt like my last divorce." First
slow and painful, then refreshing and revitalizing once the alimony
payments were done."
21. Wraith gets a hold of the Michello body swapping device and Wraith Todd
uses it on Dr. McKay, Nobody on Atlantis sees anything any different in
McKay, except he seems more confident than usual.
22. Whats the difference between a wraith and a politician? Not much, the
Wraith tell you up front you will get the life sucked out of you. A
politician lies to you, telling you he will make your lives better while
slowly sucking the life out of you over time and you don't even realize
what the politician is doing to you.
23. Wraith and a System Lord are at the bar bragging about who is better.
System Lord says "I have just conquered a planet of 500,000 people in 7
days." Wraith says either:
A. really what did you do with them? Or...
B. I could have had my Darts scoop them up in less than a day and cocooned
for later, not leaving behind a big mess of bodies of those who resisted
and had to die.
24. Wraith stops at a retirement home. He decides it would not be
feasible to feed on the old people. He might catch Alzheimer's and forget
who he was and why he was there.
25. A Wraith queen infiltrates a sorority sisters house, and feeds on a
blonde and takes on some stereotypical characteristics of a blonde (i.e.
blonde moments, etc). Wraith Queen sees herself in the mirror and tries
to feed on herself, but it does not work, you can't feed on a mirror.
how his wife sucked the very life right out of him. Wraith says
either:
A. Funny you look fine to me, but I can take care of that for you right
now. Or...
B. Really Sounds like a female after my own heart.
2. Wraith is on "Who wants to be a Millionaire", He gets up past 25k and
Merideth gives him a new lifeline, wraith says to Merideth funny I was
thinking of having you Meridith as a lifeline. Or "using your lifeline if
I feel the need".
3. Wraith gets a private lap dance at a strip club. Wraith comes out with
a smile on his face. Bouncer asks how was she? Wraith replies "better
than she looked." or "tasted like chicken."
4. Wraith and an Asguard are sitting on a park bench. Wraith says to
Asguard "I'd suck the life out of you, but it looks like someone beat be
to it."
5. Wraith and a Ga'ould are sitting at a table. Wraith says "Do you have
any jaffa you can spare? I can suck the lifeforce out of them bit by bit,
their symbiote can regenerate and I can suck on them some more." the
Ga'ould replies "No I need my Jaffa to feed my ego, not be fed upon by you."
6. How many wraith does it take to attack the Asguard? We do not know
the wraith would be too busy arguing amongst themselves, for bragging
rights, to actually attack them.
7. Why did the wraith feed upon the little people? They were just
snacks.
8. Wraith staggers into a bar. The bartender says it looks like you have
had your limit I can not serve you. The wraith replies "I have only fed
on one drunk tonight."
9. Wraith gets to Hell and the devil tells him he has a unique personal
hell in store for the wraith. Wraith says funny I was thinking of taking
over down here" and proceeds to feed on the devil.
10. Wraith is one of 2 contestants on the dating game. He gets asked by
the girl "what can you do for me? Wraith replies "I can be like your ex
boyfriend and suck the life right out of you." To a wraith that would be
funny.
11. Wraith gets stopped on the corner in the middle of feeding by the
police. Cop asks "What are you doing?" Wraith replies "I thought this
was Luke Skywalker and was feeding on the force."
12. Wraith Hive Ship gets stopped by the BORG. BORG goes on their
standard rant "Surrender your vessel, Resistance is futile, you will be
assimilated." The wraith reply "funny we were gonna says much of the same
thing except for the assimilation part, we would just feed on you to shut
you the hell up."
13. Wraith feeds on a lawyer, and suddenly falls to the ground in agony.
Lawyer says "Wow the Hoffan Drug worked, and I hope you live long enough
for me to sue you."
14. Wraith drop in at an all you can eat buffet that is very busy. The
wraith feed on several people, then use the dart to take a big doggie bag
(of people) for later.
15. Wraith are put in charge of the Max security prisons. Occupancy drops
BUT not as you might expect. The humans in there value their own lives and
get time off early for good behavior to get away from the wraith.
16. 2 wraith queens find Dr McKay and capture him on an offworld mission.
One queen says to the other "heads you get to feed on him, tails we use
him to get everyone on Atlantis and then Earth." The other queen says
hurry up and flip for it before McKay's incessant ranting/whining drives
both of us crazy."
17. Wraith meets a politician. Wraith says we are a lot alike, we lie,
cheat, manipulate others, feed off others suffering. Were you a wraith
in a previous life?
18. Wraith has just fed on a chinese family on Earth, and feels odd, He
suddenly has the feels hungry again like 20 minutes later.
19. Wraith orders a pizza and asks for for delivery. Pizza shop calls
wraith 45 minutes later looking for his driver. Wraith replies "Funny he
never showed up with a Pizza, can you send another driver out and is the
pizza free this time?"
20. Wraith is in with a shrink. Shrink is doing his thing. Shrink ask
the wraith what does he do with his life?" Wraith shows him by
feeding on shrink until brink of death and then gives him back his life
the way it was. Shrink says "wow that felt like my last divorce." First
slow and painful, then refreshing and revitalizing once the alimony
payments were done."
21. Wraith gets a hold of the Michello body swapping device and Wraith Todd
uses it on Dr. McKay, Nobody on Atlantis sees anything any different in
McKay, except he seems more confident than usual.
22. Whats the difference between a wraith and a politician? Not much, the
Wraith tell you up front you will get the life sucked out of you. A
politician lies to you, telling you he will make your lives better while
slowly sucking the life out of you over time and you don't even realize
what the politician is doing to you.
23. Wraith and a System Lord are at the bar bragging about who is better.
System Lord says "I have just conquered a planet of 500,000 people in 7
days." Wraith says either:
A. really what did you do with them? Or...
B. I could have had my Darts scoop them up in less than a day and cocooned
for later, not leaving behind a big mess of bodies of those who resisted
and had to die.
24. Wraith stops at a retirement home. He decides it would not be
feasible to feed on the old people. He might catch Alzheimer's and forget
who he was and why he was there.
25. A Wraith queen infiltrates a sorority sisters house, and feeds on a
blonde and takes on some stereotypical characteristics of a blonde (i.e.
blonde moments, etc). Wraith Queen sees herself in the mirror and tries
to feed on herself, but it does not work, you can't feed on a mirror.